I’ve talked before about the trap of thinking that being alone is a temporary state, a hiatus between relationships. I was reading over a journal entry I’d made back in 2012 and came across a goal I’d written down:
Live like no one is coming
This was good advice to myself then and still is now. Because truly, no one is coming. Sure, they might, but you don’t know that. So don’t wait, just go do it.
Waiting — for a knight in shining armour, a prince on a white horse, Godot — is procrastination. If you’ve got things you want to do, whether it’s travel or buying a house or learning to waterski, get on and do them. None require a life partner.
I’m not going to pretend, however, that I fearlessly take on new adventures without a backward glance. If I were that kind of person, I’d be too busy jumping out of planes and Instagramming it to write about it. I’m as reluctant to embark on major new adventures as the next person.
In my case, it’s not about waiting for Mr/Ms Right to come along before I feel I can legitimately do whatever it is I’m thinking about doing. I am a naturally (or more likely, given my mother’s life was ruled by fear, I learned it at her knee) cautious person. I am risk averse, I like to be well prepared, I don’t like feeling uncomfortably out of my depth, and I fear looking like an idiot. That’s why I hesitate.
But if you’re hesitating because you think you’ll wait until you have someone to do it with, maybe the mantra “live like no one is coming” is for you.
You can put off doing what you want until you find a partner, but all that means is you don’t get to enjoy what you want to do. And if you keep waiting, you may never get to do it.